It’s been mighty cold here in Alberta, and across Canada. A much-needed, honest-to-goodness winter with a snowpack forecasters say will lessen the impact of spring and summer forest fires. Temperatures well below zero, made colder with wind, killing off viruses and vermin. A restoration of balance that, while I appreciate, as I said to Sig as we layered to go out, I wish I wasn’t in. It’s been less than a month since celebrating his birthday in Huatulco, Mexico, but it feels like ages with this profound contrast.
And Walker, despite inheriting Annie’s insulated coat, and boots that he reluctantly wears, has found his first winter too cold to do much more outside than his business. And even that’s done fast, carefully perched on three legs, alternately the fourth to keep it from freezing. Last week, both of us bundled to play in the backyard, not a minute later and he was at the door. That night, he didn’t eat his dinner and slept all evening instead of his usual watching TV (I kid you not!) or playing with us. I sensed he was depressed and reflected to Sig we needed to move someplace more temperate, as both Walker and I need to walk…outside…in Nature…without freezing.
I’m going on about this because I’ve noticed with every passing year, I’m less inclined to brave winter’s elements and that troubles me. I used to ice skate…cross country and downhill ski…I haven’t walked with my Camino group since Christmas. Dog walking has become episodic. Reading my friend, Gretchen’s post this morning got me to thinking more about my own aging and how it’s showing up.
“Ageism is the last bastion of political incorrectness, and no one is going to fight it with us or for us. No one else cares, until they arrive there themselves…”
Gretchen Staebler, “You’re Doing Great…For Your Age”
I met Gretchen at a writing retreat years ago on Whidbey Island. Then, she was working on her – now published and highly recommended – moving, tender, and funny memoir, Motherlode: Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver. (For local readers, it’s available to borrow from my public library.) I love Gretchen’s fresh and candid take on life, and too, her big heart from which she responds to my recent posts about the harrowing state of our world. From her post which inspired my writing today:
“What do you see when you look in a mirror? Go ahead, look. Do you only see wrinkles and sagging skin? Yes, they are there, it’s a fact of the third act, it’s what the body does. And what else? What is reflected in your eyes, your smile?”
In this “third act,” what I’ve been calling “the eldering landscape,” my body is having its say, and I’m having to become more adept at listening. In this year, crossing the threshold into my eighth decade (mind-blowing what becoming seventy actually means!!!) I don’t know how I’ll celebrate. I do know I’ll continue to be enthralled, amazed, bewildered, curious, vulnerable, astonished, uncertain, afraid, grateful, courageous – the whole enchilada of words describing me being in love with the gift that is my life. Regardless of my age.
Much love and kindest regards, dear friends.
I’m so happy to welcome you, my newest subscribers, and grateful to you who have been reading me regularly.
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A Wabi Sabi Life 
Ah, Katharine, raising the important questions we all face in the Third Act! So tender that your sweet dog (not in his Third Act) verifies the bitterness of the cold. Living in the far North is a brave, beautiful endeavor. May you and Sig explore the Big questions of this life stage as gracefully and honestly as you can. And, may you have fun in doing so while you are still so mobile, beautiful and creative! Ann
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Thank you, Ann. Walker, seduced by today’s brilliant sunshine (despite a -35 C windchill), and I just came in from playing. His running keeps his feet warmer than when walking. To be part of his unabashed joy is mine. Much love…
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Dear sister Aries… welcome to the 8th decade. It is a mystery, our 70s–a time when personal mortality becomes real–and urgency to get the rest of the best of our creativity out there. I know you know–as you prepare your poetry volume to put in my eager hands. And a decade of life review, and living on the roulette wheel of maintaining health and strength as best we can. YOU are offering so many generative words to the world. Whatever the weather, I count on you showing up in my mailbox, for pause and dive you offer. Thank you. Persist. Keep writing.
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Thank you, Christina. And I count on you and Ann for your grounded, hope and love filled presence and words of wisdom well earned.
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Ah, thank you, my friend. I love exploring this third act with you. I wish we lived closer (but in Canada, not here). Do not despair, warmer weather will come and you will be out doing amazing things. I will mark 73 in a few months, and I’m learning to just let hibernation period be what it is, even reveling in it. We’ll be active again. xoxo Gretchen
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Ah, thank you my friend. I love exploring this 3rd Act with you, albeit from afar. I’ll cross the threshold into 73 in a few months; I’m learning to let this winter, sedentary season of “Cozy” be okay, I even revel in it. You (and I) will resume activity soon, spring/summer will come. Enjoy the stillness! xoxo Gretchen
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Your comment arrived, Gretchen. Thanks for persisting. The boon of these days is time to write, which once warm weather comes, I want to be outside.
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Happy Family Day, Katharine. In this quiet early morning finally a moment for a short note of thanks for sharing your writing, thoughts and emotions. Your weekly words always (and that’s a big word i rarely use) resonate. This morning, I appreciate the reminder of the heavier snowpack in hopeful anticipation of fewer fires. Like you, these past few weeks, I’ve certainly noticed the impact being outdoors less, my lack of energy to even venture from house to car and back again for anything more than groceries! Missing the Mexican sand and sun and Pacific waters from our January escape. Is it the weather, the voluntary February cocooning or indeed the complexity of a physical slowing down wrestling with a brain that still loves to be 55!? Is it the long adjustment to finding my place here in the suburbs, the distance (and energy required) to dash around the city with ease without a freeway? All this to say it is so lovely to read your posts and know my journey, though uniquely mine, is shared by other observant, smart, courageous, reflective and curious women.
I do know that I’m looking forward to the break in the weather this week and the coming spring when I find joy in planning the flower pots.
Enjoy the day, Joanne
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Joanne, thank you so much for your kind words and thoughtful reply. And congratulations on your new home, albeit with adjustments. I woke this morning remembering too how depleting and disturbing our world in crisis, using more energy to navigate it. This morning’s sunshine is a more promising reminder.
Kindest regards…
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Thank you Katharine. Third act. Much to accept, much to celebrate. This I find true. And some days, I’m just cold (but not in Edmonton climate so much these days). Hugs. Fires. Good stories. Thanks for sharing you.
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Thanks, Tenneson. Yes, much to celebrate have you! Congratulations and hugs.
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My feelings exactly
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Dear Katharine, your words of reflection on this third chapter, the eldering landscape has been front and centre in my consciousness ever since turning 70 and now as I approach 74 in a couple of months I find myself reflecting more on the changes of both my body and mind. I find myself marvelling more on the simple everyday occurrences, the amazing configuration of the moon, stars and planets on a crisp, clear evening while, I too try to encourage dear Molli to do her business on three legs.The haunting echo of coyotes singing in the cold night, the sparkle of the hoar frost on bright sunny days, or the chirping of the small song birds that somehow manage to handle this cold, with some help through my frequently refilled feeders. I have even started to spread wheat across some frequented pathways for the Hungarian partridges.
However even after saying this it has been a few weeks since returning from the coast and I feel caged by the cold. I long for the long walks/hikes with Molli, rain or shine, along the many pathways, beside rivers, in old growth forests or along mountain lakes that Chilliwack has to offer and have found myself saying the same to Dennis, that maybe we need to include February in our stay in Chilliwack, a more temperate climate overall, I too need to be outside and realize how important that is to my navigating the thoughts, emotions and behaviours of this eldering landscape.
Biggest of Hugs to you and Sig and Walker
Susan
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Dear Katharine
your writings resonate with me as I approach my 74 birthday in a few months and try to navigate my way through this new landscape of the third act and eldering landscape.
I too have found that my wintering tolerances have waned and I long to be able to get out and walk or ski, without having to bundle up to such a degree that movement seems impossible. I have also had similar conversations with Dennis, to consider maybe staying for one more month through the winter in Chilliwack where rain or shine we can enjoy long walks outdoors with Molli in tow, along stunning pathways riverside, through old growth forests or along the shores of mountain lakes.
We have only been back for a couple of weeks and to be honest I feel a bit “caged” despite my attempts of revelling in the beauty of a snowy landscape. In awe of the crisp clear nights where I marvel at the alignment of the moon, planets and stars, while walking Molli for her bedtime walk, and three legged bathroom breaks, listening the the coyotes wail through the stillness of the night. I marvel at the sparkle of the hoar frost on the trees during the day and stand in awe as the frost floats through the air sparkling in the sunshine. I make my daily sojourns to make sure those song birds that remain have their feeders full and suet available for the long winter nights and have even found myself sprinkling the snow banks with wheat where I have found tracks of Hungarian partridges.
Despite these efforts I find the wintering in place to be more and more difficult.with that said I find that it brings a different element to those thoughts, emotions and behaviours that this third act or eldering landscape brings to the forefront.
I loved this piece and the comments of others, comforting me with the knowledge that others share the same or similar pathways through this eldering landscape.
Biggest Hugs
Susan
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Dear Susan, I’ve read both your comments to this post and thank you for so beautifully describing your experiences, especially those in your country home where winter makes its unequivocal presence seen, felt and heard. I’ve reached out to make a coffee date with a friend who will be soon returning from 2 months in a little Pacific coast village of Mexico. I’m curious to explore options. That in itself is enlivening. Returning your hug and well wishes…
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As I sit here reading your blog in a wonderful, old, refurbished apartment in Lisbon, Portugal, watching the nonstop people going about, I can assure you that you’ll be fine in this new decade! Your writing skills will keep your mind healthy and focused.
Having recently turned 76, old in some eyes, but feeling younger, I treasure my life more, enjoy new hobbies, am active in sport and have completed more projects since I retired than in my working years. Whilst on this trip with my daughter and family, including two granddaughters, aged 14 and 12, I was able to keep up with walking 20K steps on cobblestone narrow streets, up hills and managed with a slightly, ‘elderly’ sore hip. It may not always be easy but we do it anyways, in defiance perhaps of an ‘elder’ age. Marijke
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Dear Marijke
I enjoyed reading your age affirming and uplifting words… from Lisbon, no less! Enjoy your family trip, and thanks for the inspiration.
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